The Leaf

The Leaf (revision)

It was the first summer of my retirement and found myself taking long walks and contemplating life and the day. One day, I happened upon a lonely bench and decided to rest under a stately maple. Its welcome leaves gave me shelter from the harsh summer sun and wind and reminded me of my northern home far away. Studying the tree, I noticed a single leaf perched on the tip of one barren branch; perfect in form, strong and alone. The wind tore at it and the leaf simply waved back. I spent many afternoons with my new friend sharing the summer sun, sometimes having short conversations -- after all, my friend was not a big talker. I’d laugh and tell stories about my family, make observations about the weather and relate plans I’d always thought I would have time to do. My friend quietly listened always giving me his full attention, nodding occasionally in agreement, and sometimes still in deep contemplation. Then one late summer’s day, my friend began to change. Heralding the impending autumn my friend abandoned his perfect green and donned a coat of crimson. Celebrating his life defying the wind, drinking his last ray of sunshine, he fell. The harsh wind tried to whip my friend far away but with his last strength he clung to the ground. Losing his grip for a moment he flew a short distance - regained his hold, then bereft of life was blown to come to rest in a nest of his brothers where he was buried.
It was my second summer of retirement and I found myself resting on my favorite bench. I glanced to the place where my friend rested and with joy, saw a young twig from which sprouted a single perfect leaf. Smiling, I got to my feet and began thinking of plans I needed to do.


In my revision, I wanted to personalize and develop the friend aspect of the leaf. By doing so, the passing of the leaf would generate a greater feeling of loss to the reader. I decided the best way to would be to add some conversation to the story to imply a sense of true friendship between the old man and the leaf. Even though the conversation is one-sided, it gave me the opportunity to add a touch of humor and introduce the notion that the old man has many plans he has been unable to do throughout his life and has given up on them. I removed some of the poetic echoings to try to make the story more intimate and toned down some of the repetition. I decided to change the ending to imply that the old man had been changed by the leafs friendship, death and rebirth, to the point where he decides there is more to retirement then simply growing old sitting on a park bench. There is a final decision made to act on something’s left undone. I first attempted to change this story into a poem but decided it was better suited to a flash story.


The Leaf (original)

It was the first summer of my retirement in a new place. I found myself taking long walks and contemplating life and the day. I happened upon a lonely bench and decided to rest under a stately maple. Its leaves gave me shelter from the harsh summer sun and wind – reminding me of my northern home far away. Studying the tree, I noticed one lonely leaf on the tip of one lonely branch; perfect in form, strong and alone. The wind tore at it and the leaf simply waved back. I spent many afternoons with my new friend sharing the summer sun and contemplating life and the day. Then one late summer’s day, my friend began to change. Heralding the impending autumn my friend abandoned his perfect green and donned a coat of crimson. Celebrating his life defying the wind, drinking his last ray of sunshine, it fell. The harsh wind tried to whip my friend far away but with his last strength he clung to the ground. Losing his grip for a moment he flew a short distance - regained his hold, then bereft of life was blown to come to rest in a nest of his brothers where it was buried.
It was my second summer of retirement in a new place, when I found myself resting on my favorite bench. I glanced to the place where my friend rested and with joy, saw a young twig from which sprouted a single perfect leaf.